a song

Written a lot of lines

Still hard to make them rhyme

Wanted to make them into a song

But my mind does not want to play along

It would be much easier

To just listen to my heart

But it has been silent

Since the last song it had

A song I wrote for a girl

But after sending it there

Nothing was heard from her

And that song faded with despair

So now I just wanted to try

I just want to stop those cries

To write again for someone dear

Happiness I feel because she is near

a korean tele novela

following the story that unfolds
unraveling plot as it explodes
sweet moments and awful truths
a tele novela that gives me hope


excited after each episode
just want to know how it all ends
in my mind i know a happy ending it will be
wishing that i could also happen to me 

malungkot lang

gaya ng iba tuloy lang ang buhay
sana sa maayos na paraan makaraos lang
may mga pangarap din naman
ang may makasama sa taksilim na daratnan

madalas aking nadarama lungkot imbes na ligaya
pinilit masanay na mag-isa
subalit akoy nangungulila sa tuwina
malungkot lang yan ang sabi ko pagkat malayo sayo


naghahanap nalang ng mga libangan
madalas ngayon nanonood lang
dun ko kasi parati nadarama
ang umibig ng wagas hanggang wakas ay masaya

ngunit pagkatapos ng mga palabas
lalo lamang akong nakakaranas
malungkot lang ako umaasang babalikan mo 

Keep dreaming

Happily ever after like a fairy tale
No hurt felt no sadness endured
Only laughter and smiles
With each kiss from ones love


Just keep dreaming and hope for the best
Only problem was I could not fool myself
Saw through all those lies love gave
After all those sweetness comes hurt


It was true love I thought
Endured all the aches and pains
But could not bear to face the truth
It was just a dream that came to an end

Keep writing

Just keep writing even if they stop reading

Do it for yourself  just release the sadness

The words you write down and read after

Will help you forget them later

Words I told myself years ago

Why I still believe that it shall be so

Writing things down only ensured

Yesterday and today’s feelings are true

So I’ll just keep writing things down

And maybe someone will find

I fell in love like everybody else

And like the rest I can't erase regrets 

Ate Kaye

Sorry I think the first words I’ll say

To you that I wanted to claim

After the first time our bodies met

The second time I saw your face

Be with me the second phrase I’ll mouth out

Hope you are listening to your heart

And believe what each other’s eyes want

To finally be attached and never be apart

I love you again I’ll say

Maybe this time you'll have a reply

Hoping that it will be same as mine

I love you too after we kiss for the first time

Wish

Wish for the stars wish for the moon

Wish for them to always stay in my room

Be with me all night long while I’m alone

So that I don’t have to be on my own

Wish for the sunshine that gives warmth

Removes memories of those chilly nights

Wish for those typing sounds as she prepare to send

Those messages I yearn for with each smiley she gives

I wish for this I wish for that

I just wish I could have you back

Tooth fairy Santa Claus

I’ll even make a deal with a leprechaun

To have you back I know is just a dream

Help me please anyone out there

Just wanted to be her only lover

Even if it’s only a one sided affair

friday

i feel sad i feel blue
goodbye i said it felt true
friday, now i hate you
next week ill be alone with you

loud

loud as i want it to be
turn up the volume
i am alone still free
let the sound wash me


drown out the sadness
let loudness stay
so that i won't hear
the emptiness inside me

Excited

Talaga lang ah

You should have seen the expression on my face
After hearing those words from my friend
That I should be there when you turn 18
On your special day you want me to be there

So ok I got really excited but felt nervous
What should I bring? What should I say?
First time I’ll be with you on that special day
I’ll probably would not be able to say anything

Maybe a few quick glances I’ll manage
I’ll able to see you with stolen chances
Hopefully again you will let me hug you
Like we always do when i dream about you

goodnight eric

natakot kaba kasi makulit ako?
sana naman po di naging ganito
gusto ko lang naman eh makausap tulad mo
makulit din gaya ko, sensya na baka iba na dating ko


ilang beses din tayong kung magchat eh magdamag
maghapon kapag akoy day off
pero bakit naman bigla kang nagsabi
di ka muna makaka online parati


baka naman sadyang ayaw mo na
sa tulad kong nangungulila
may makausap lang masaya na
sana di ka natakot sa aking mga bola


bola lang diba yan sabi mo
pero sa akin mga sinasabi koy totoo
gusto ko parati ka kausap
at pag nagasasalita ka akoy sayong mata nakaharap


kayat eto nangungulila sayo
mag intay nalang parati sa pagbabalik mo
dati bago ka matulog eh parati offline message mo
goodnight eric dapat parati smile mo kita ko

I miss you

Hard to say but felt it everyday
I miss you please comeback and stay
All those nights of just thinking of you
Those dreams of just being with you

I miss you I whisper slow
Fluttering feeling inside me glows
Teary eyed I tried to sleep
I miss you again with each breath I take

Sweetie I tried to describe
The feeling you give me each time
Into eternity I shall carry
Those smiles you send me daily

longer

more than me i always thought
something foolishly sought
accepted that truth
and still longer than a lifetime it took


to wait  for so long to have that chance
maybe this time ill have luck on my side
to search for you so many times
i just wish you could remember the promise we had

miss call

dailed your number and after 2 rings i hung up
with the thought of what would i say
hello and then nothing else to exchange
like a fool i felt after trying to call


maybe i just wanted to say goodbye
instead of hellos that i always wanted to try
excited to hear your voice once more
then i was afraid you might not pick up at all


each day is the same as this
could not find the courage
to dial your number and wait for the ring
then i feel so childish and hang it up again

just hearing your phone ring maybe enough for me
to know you are out there and living happily
thinking of you just smiling doing everyday things
then imagining i have you and its driving me insane

I feel fine

That said I still have remorse
All shall be revealed in due course
An empty house I have to be in
No laughter is heard from within


I feel fine I just tell myself
But my eyes could not deceive itself
Wondered for so long how to move on
Stuck in a painful memory l can’t go on


I feel fine like being hypnotized
But after a blink of an eye
I return to things that bother my mind
I feel fine but my heart says otherwise

i don't feel alone anymore

she finds the time to just talk simply
describes her day while she smiles at me
with those simple hellos
i don't feel alone anymore


those hours we just spend chatting
like being in heaven
but i know i could not own
this lady i wanted to hold for so long


so each day is like a gift to me
from someone that i really hold dearly
just afraid that one day she will need to go
but for the moment i don't feel alone anymore


i don't need to wonder if she feels the same
i'm just a dear friend to her she confirmed
unrequited love i have accepted with smiles
i'm just thankful i could be by her side 

chocolate bar

i want to eat it now
but felt i should save it somehow
i know if i start to munch
later on i will not have enough

felt like this chocolate bar
is something similar to love
once the first bite is done
no choice but to continue eating on


love like chocolates i want to have always
but its easier to find this sweet thing
than that thing that hurts us in the end
chocolate don't ever go away unlike this love that never stayed

fix you (title given by sweetie)

facing a mirror i tried to smile
but ended up with a loud cry
reminding me of all the faults i have
how do i fix you please tell me how


in the mirror all i can see
everything that i did to hurt thee
regretting those things now
wishing to fix you somehow


time passes quickly i know
but time stood still, in this mirror it shows
cannot move on because of the past
let me go back to fix this broken heart

pretender girl (requested by sweeties friend)

hello friend good day and i just smile 
that friend i have been with all the while
going out in groups and just us walking
i just wish to tell everything

more that a friend i felt long time ago
but could not tell this friend i love him so
just going on with life secretly inlove
i hope holding his hand will not reveal my plan

to tell him one day of the love i have kept
please wait until i get the courage and say
i love you friend as i whisper slow
hope you'll look into my eyes and tell me that you love me too.

a woman numb (requested by sweeties friend)

heart aches endured for so long
not feeling anything after that final song
melody heard but the feeling is gone
now even memories can make this woman numb

as days march on and truth accepted
nothing can bring back what was missing
sadness is not there only emptiness lingired
void of the happiness my heart forever numb with despair

love rain

the sound the rain makes each time i hear
makes me remember those times we shared and cheered
now i only have those memories
each time the rain falls down on me

she loved the rain so romantic she said
when the rain comes and she's alone
she calls me up and whispers i love you so
now each time the rain falls my tears also flows

i miss her so each time i see the sky
i want to be with her each time i see the night stars
just a wish for me to make rain please dedicate
love she shared with me rain now only reminds me

Dangsinege banhaetsseumnida

hope i am not being too obvious
with the poems i wrote for you
about what i feel about things
wish you can feel the same thing


Dangsinege banhaetsseumnida
really not much i could do
let me just be near you
and bathe in the sweetness of your gaze

how you look with those eyes
your smile that gives me happiness inside
really wish i could own
the key that opens your heart for me

Miane

Miane    biane 

still the hurt is there
even after years of pretending
hiding the misery under my awkward smiles
happiness can never be mine

wishing for another chance
maybe next time i can make things right
or am i just punishing myself
for things left unsaid

looking forward but stepping back
cannot leave the times we had
wanted to tell you how sorry i was
instead i left without calling you back

Ella

Softly whispered her name

Expecting her to appear

In the darkness of my room

I say her name once more

Ella and I just smile

Imagining her eyes

While she looks into mine

Fuzzy feeling fluttering inside

Ella I said again

This time with a smile on my face

Remembered what she told me this morning

Good morning Eric, have a great day.

Magic smile version 2

Have you ever seen such a wondrous thing?

Only from her that blessing she brings

Not much explanation is needed

Begging your attention and share that expression

That smile from you I know it is special

Like a gift from a fairy or genie

A magical thing that tells me

How happy life is because you smile at me

No words can ever describe

But maybe a picture could inspire

That smile you do so well

Like a wish and given truth your smile is the magic I pursued

foolish

ate kaye


tall singkit at sweet ng boses
dagdag ko narin kung yamakap mahigpit
yan si ate kaye or yan ang tanda ko
medyo lasing kasi ako nung huling nagkita tayo


since huling pagkikita sya na nagbibigay ng saya
ngiti sa bawat alaala nung syay nakayakap na
ate kaye bakit kasi nalasing ako
yan tuloy di na ako maka lapit kasi shy ako

or naglasing talaga para may dahilang yumakap ako
pero di kana naman lasing diba
bakit pumayag ka? pinagbigyan ang tulad kong kakaiba
dahil lamang sa pangungulit napayakap sa langit

di kayay mayroon karing kakaibang nadama?
sensya if feeling may patutunguhan ito
yun lang kasi magagawa ko
ang managinip na maging tayo

magic smile

run away run away please run away
but i just laugh and smile
knowing in my mind i couldn't get very far
how can one get away when in me she will always be


her smile yes that magic smile
like casting a spell
enchanted that's how i feel
everything will turn out fine because of her smile

just looking into her eyes
removes all the sadness i have
giggling she does so well
takes all my heart aches away

that magic smile mesmerized my mind
chained and made a slave out of my heart
and yet i feel free with each gaze she gives me
only from her eyes this feeling i can have constantly

like a thousand hugs and a million kisses
i feel she gives me with that simple glance
don't ever say goodbye, i need to forever see
your magic smile 

ever

masaya ako pag naiisip kita
yung bang nag iisa at may problema
then papasok ang ngiti mo sa isip ko
ayun na para bang nawala na pagdurusa


ganun pakiramdam parang highschool lang
kilig ang feeling para bang 16 again
sarap lang isipin mga pwede gawin natin
napapangiti parati kapag akoy nag iimagine

eksana na simple lang
yung sundo kita after each class
kilig classmates mo pagkat dumating na iyong crush
may dalang flowers at agad kuha ko ang iyong bag


ibang eksana naman tayoy nasa sinehan
di na shy at agad holding hands
lakas ng tibok ng puso ko
sabi mo papakinggan mo

ganun sana parati ano
kahit imagination ko lang ito
masarap mainlove talaga
specially kung may kashare ka

An escape

Running away from it all

Been doing that and much more

Convinced myself that I am safe

Just don’t think of anything else

A few years of working

Months of just drinking

Can’t complete those pc games for so long

And with my guitar still can’t sing a complete song

Lately I just escape with my pc

Watch all that k-dramas daily

Experiencing those hurts with the lead stars

Feeling the love when each other’s hearts they found

Yes an escape is what I do

To forget that I still love you

But each k-series I see

Only reminds me of my futility

Hurtfully they just give me hope

Reality of life dampens and soaks

My life can never be like a happy Korean movie

That in the end they lived happily

a smile a day

this thing i feel each day that reveals

happiness yes i have from someone that inspires

a smile a day she gives my heart

i hope its the same she feels in her heart

 a smile a day i look forward to

from her i know joy will continue

cant imagine life after her first glance

from then on i only look at her eyes

a smile a day i know i could get

genuine feelings comes out as sweets

warmth from each smile she gives

i know i am addicted

idadaan ko nalang sa tula

para di mahalata na akoy natutulala
sa mga pagkakataong ito akoy nangangapa
idadaan ko nalang sa tula para di masyadong halata
itatago nalang sa mga salita nadarama kong pangungulila


at habang kausap ka alam kong nakikita mo na
titig kong sayo nakapako sana wag mo akaling akoy masamang tao
nabighani lamang sa iyong mga mata at galaw mong nakaka halina
patawarin mo narin ako bago ako gumawa ng milagro kaw kasi ang aking santo


idadaan ko nalang sa tula mga gusto kong sabihin sayo
sana lumabas na may katotohanan mga sasabihin ko
kabado lang kasi para bang huhulihin ako ng pulis
aaminin ko naman agad  matapos kong nakawin ang iyong halik


at makukulong man ang hihilingin ko
dun sana malapit sa nagpapatibok ng puso ko
di na ako lalabas pa dahil alam ko
hangang wakas makakasama koy pag ibig mo

You are my dream

Been having these dreams

About someone I need

Like air that I need to breathe

Her love I wish she would give

You are my dream I wanted to say

And it seems I cannot make her sway

Only in my dream I can have my way

The reality of life she’s so far away

Only dreams I have about you

Sad and happy mixed emotions too

Frustrations after each sweet dream about you

To wake up and face life without you

sweet ella

like ice cream that i love soo much
i feel greedy with each scoop i have
each spoonful i put in my mouth
like heaven that i always wanna have

sweet ella i just love to say
like chocolates that takes sadness away
feeling warm with each bite
brings smiles after finishing a lot

sweet ella like all things nice
smiles she gives me and  i feel alright
ella so sweet each night i feel complete
each dream i have makes my life soo sweet

title taken from a friend

Maybe its not always about trying to fix something broken,
maybe its about starting over and creating something better..... hablot title hehehe


realized just now why i always cry
sewed my heart back but cant replace the missing smiles
a few parts that flew away cannot find it anywhere
trying to fix it all these years still hurt is there


maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken
no matter how long and how hard one tries still cannot be together
maybe it's about starting over an creating something better
i just need someone to help me grow a heart that is even better and would last forever 

my eyes

with them you could see
what i am feeling
through them you can view
what my heart is saying


my eyes only looks to you
begging that your eyes could look at me too
to let you know how much my heart hurts
each time my eyes cries for you 

king of goodbyes

the end,  wow a greatway to start a life
but let me just say a few lines
a wave of the arm and say goodbye
but please don't look into my eyes

been saying it for quite awhile
different meanings of goodbye
sayonara  i tell myself
after they decide i am not worth it

annyeonghi gaseyo i heard a few times
Adieu this one from long ago
Arrivederci i got crazy after i heard this from my baby
Ha det bra  loneliness really got me

king of goodbyes i am that guy
always at the receiving end
always wondering what happened
but then it was only me that wavered

like a love song

each time a certain melody is heard
a special song that is revealed
that feeling of happiness or sadness
comes out from hiding and hearts reminded


a song that explains each feeling we had back then
that happy memory of a certain melody can reopen
or a sad ballad that we have forgotten for so long
that song once heard again churns out emotions


and yes like a love song
i can't help but remember
while each word we hear again
each memory we relive again


happiness felt again
or torment received
just because of a song
we feel we need to belong

don't ever

Don't ever break the heart who truly love you
or else you'll end up regretting ... "title taken from a friend "


don't you dare break my heart
this heart that from the start
gave everything to you
the first kiss the first hug

the first love my heart gave you
so fragile still willing
heart aches my heart can endure
but heart break that would be cruel

but still i am here
trying to survive
all those hurts you gave
coz in your arms i feel alive

a second chance

held on for quite a while
realized how alone i was
still keeping you in my heart
never gave up even after all facts

made up my version of the truth
in my arms love has always been
nothing can change that feeling
sadly only your memory  remains

drunk

i was happy


feeling dizzy feeling down
got alot of rum in my tum tum
struggling towards throne
holding in those bits of pork loin

dazed and confused her face i see up close
tried to grab her by the shoulders
nothing there but the doors
made it there and cried on the tile floor


a drinking problem they said i had
its a memory problem what i actually have
trying to forget was really hard to do
washing it away with gin helps numb the pain its true

still early for saturday cartoons
took a shower to wash away my blues
and yet still i dont feel clean
years of lying to her left  this stain 

do better

sometimes  i just let my imagination run wild
i feel better that way, really not much to say
wishing for things with impossible outcomes
without any sanity i just write them down

maybe writing it and posting will have some effect
somebody out there might read it
will they have good some thoughts about the writer?
or  they will just laugh coz i could not do better

can't

staring outside the van
as it sped up past the stop sign
listening to kpop music
cannot understand but i enjoy it


about the things i have done
will i still keep doing til im gone?
not much prestige since i started
i feel like its gonna be same when i end it

i can't explain what i feel
sad or lonely or just insane
been keeping quiet everyday
working away not much to say

getting older  but am i much wiser?
learned a few things here and there
still the same  problems everyday
just different faces i see it is all the same to me

assorted

miss you

smiling alone i know what you think
reminiscing all those fun times after a few drinks
brings back the tinggly feeling of kissing you
and then regret creeps in because i left you


-----------------------------------------------
can't explain


why do you love me

like asking why the sun shines
should we even ask why the sea rushes to the shore?
soo cliche i know but like a child we are
everything glows when love grows

when a person feels alone he/she looks at the moon
reasons we all know but cant exactly explain
why we love, it just shows
no need for any descriptions or explanations

can't explain why hearts beats faster
fluttering butterflies inside
true love makes everyone insane

------------------------------------------
each time you see someone


a few dozen korean movies
and those korean tv series
romantic comedies and heartfelt tragedies
realized my own feelings, i have this lonely existence


learned a few from those shows
how to fight for someone and take blows
the end might not be in our hearts favor
but we wont know unless we go 

say goodbye

say goodbye .

i just wanted to say goodbye ..
goodbye to all i hold true ...
goodbye to all mah hopes of having you.
goodbye to you mah heart shall miss you
goodbye forever shall be true


goodbye to you mah trusted friend...
never thought that this would end....
found out about love i have...
you turned away and never looked back....

goodbye mah gurl i really cared each time you smiled
that one day the smiles you have were meant only for mah eyes....
farewell mah love or should i say ....
you never meant any of those sweetness you gave.....

goodbye to me i say it now..
coz after this i will surely fade out...
farewell to mah self hope someone shall hear...
that the love i wished was a wish too late ......

the love i prayed for did not exist only in mah twisted mind was love i begged..
so goodbye cruel world i say atlast..
youll never miss me a person with a delusional mind.......

no more songs

the last time


now i know why i could not write a song
something is lacking i know what is wrong
words i could write about how i need love
but then no melody even if i tried really hard

maybe what i feel has no truth
or maybe the music in me is gone for good
dissappeared long time ago
the day my heart broke in two


all the music in me just spewed
nothing left everything fell on my shoes
could mend the heart but still the melody left
even if i tried to sing it just comes out as blues 

my korean girlfriend

i just love listening to her talk
even if i could not understand
i just love that sound she makes
sweet to my ears like warm embrace

smiling each time she makes a point
to what i don't really know
but those smiles are enough
to make me hold her hand


first words i learned in korean
sarang hae sarang hae like honey
sweet feeling along with her eyes
while she is saying sarang hae dear one


Seulpeoyo i feel each time
she is not around
Gippeoyo i know i am
because of my korean girlfriend 

love, explained

Been alone with my thoughts most times

About love and how it’s defined

Maybe love is just a memory

From our past life’s journeys

You see someone and you felt it

Seems like there’s that familiarity

Strange really how could that be?

Only today you saw her but instantly

Like something that is buried deep

You felt it emerge and take shape

Like dejavu you connected

The need to be with don’t object to it

From past lives we just re live it again

With different faces and different names

Only one thing stays the same

To try to find each other’s hearts again

With each new life a chance is given

To find that other half of our heart that was taken

Sometimes they just accept that is not the perfect fit

And just be happy with what they get

But a small few that still believe in fate

Faith in something inside their chest

If in this life they could not meet

A wish to embrace again with hearts final breath

smiling face

i have alot of reasons to frown, but when i am with you i just smile
smiling alot that you do so good, i don't want to leave your side
being away from you only brings back sad moments
i just wish for a magical glue so that forever i'll be stuck with you 

What could be

This addiction I can't stop

Even tried to stop my heart

Problem with that is everything will end

Then I won’t be able to see you again

Just to see you move and interact

With this world that made me an outcast

You alone can give reason for my return

Only you brought life back into this being

Scared of what could happen

But afraid of losing

If I open my heart now to you

Will you hold it and make my dreams come true?

What could be already I’m afraid

Not being able to start and yet

Already I have concluded

I am not the prince charming you wanted